An account of a telemarketer searching for his brain and loosing his mind.
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Mr. Free Enterprise searches for his brain.

A Private Citizen member forwarded us e-mail he received from
Mr. Free Enterprise (BUSINESSNW@...com )
We responded as follow:

PCI:     I happened to run across your posting to [a Private Citizen member] and feel compelled to comment on your ersatz wisdom which was presented as follows:
 
MFE:  Your uneducated attitude proves what calibur of person you are.
Rather it proves the ethical behavior which you lack.

PCI:     HUH???  You proclaim your view that [our member] is uneducated. Yet your above prose is devoid of a sense of syntax. The word 'Rather' (above) should be used to indicate an alternative. Indeed, you seem to believe it should be used as a component of an inclusive argument.
Get a dictionary.

MFE:  A bit high strung aren't we?

PCI:     Ohhhh, well that explains it. You're high strung!
Take a pill.

MFE: As well as intense? No sir you have a problem and it is most definitly a personal one.

PCI:     Try to properly punctuate next time. "No sir',' you have a problem..."
Enroll in a remedial writing class!

MFE:   The letter with which I served you was presented with an intelligent manner and objective. Your response has been less than satisfactory and is reflective of your obvious lack of social couth.

PCI:     I didn't see the above referenced letter from you, so I can't help you determine if it was either intelligent or objective. Nevertheless, your instant letter has, so far, lacked appropriate levels of both.
Use a mirror.

MFE:   Have you sir, ever been familiarized with the terminology "Free : Enterprise"?

PCI:     Hey... you got the 'comma thing' right this time.  Good for you sonny.
Get a medal.

MFE:   I believe that is why you have no right with which to say that Telemarketing should be banned.

PCI:     Ever hear that phrase "...defend to the death, your right to say it"?
Read some history.

MFE:   Furthermore, it is a pity that there is not a place of which that we could publicly debate this issue, for I am quiet certain that I would be the victor.

PCI:     Buddy, you'd be a puddle.
Get a sponge.

MFE:  Sincerely,
Grow Up and Educate Yourself,
Free Enterprise

PCI:     With Warmest Regards,
Stop picking your nose.  I think your pulling your brain out.
---
Bob Bulmash - Private Citizen, Inc.

After receiving our assistance in understanding his 'shortcomings',
this glutton for humiliation cried out for more.

MFE:     I find humor in your english class. It is a pathetic person who needs to rely on someone else to fight his battles. English or proper syntax is NOT the issue. You should take my advice to [a Private Citizen member] and grow up! GET A LIFE! Oh and I hear that the elementary school is in need of a substitute teacher.
Perhaps you should apply and your services would fare better there....   Sincerely,     Free Enterprise Rulz

PCI:     Perhaps . . . no SURELY you missed my point!

It was your ad homonym argument which I read and responded to in kind.  You score points though, in that you are consistent in crawling through the gutter in an attempt to attack an adversary.

I'm through with you now. You won't hear from me again. Go play with your 'big business uber alis' friends and vote Newt Gingrich for President.

Perhaps you can volunteer to work the phones. So what if your call barges into the homes of the elderly, the infirm, or those who work nights and sleep days. Too bad if you disturb a mother bathing her infant, a family dinner, someone's shower or a moment of passion between a husband and wife.

After all, if you can't treat them like Pavlovian dogs responding to the ring of a bell, what good are they anyway... RIGHT?

Bye bye now

Not yet satisfied, our protagonist entreated:

MFE:    Comical! So tell me do you have enough sense to get out of the rain?  Mr. 8 ball says: "Doubtful".

Like I mentioned to you previously.....check out the elementary school they need qualified help such as yours. I hear they are paying $5.50 an hour. And with all of your intellect I am sure that they would want you to work at least a couple of hours.

Send me a post card from the school of the mentally gifted! Just remember when the sign on the door reads "pull" don't stand there for hours trying to push! I know you can't help it. Keep your tired comments to yourself...

Free Enterprise RULEZ
Have a Nice Day.

Unable to leave with minimal dignity, and without our encouragement,
 this telemarketing flag waver puked the following:

MFE:     Oh and one more issue that needs to be addressed. ... I am NOT a telemarketer. Uhh and sorry if I interrupted your masterbation time! I know how valuable that is to you.

FREE ENTERPRISE RULZ